Family Vacationing

Have you taken an extended trip with family members?

We have rarely done this with mine.

We travel a lot with John's family and seem to get along just fine.

After 5 days in Texas with my brother, my dad and mom, I have come to this realization.

My family is full of freaks!

Of course I mean this in the most loving way.

My sister Vanessa didn't go, and I really didn't want her to go because she vacations like she lives.

On the go-go-go as fast as you can and cram every thing you can into one day.

We don't plan anything when we vacation.

We take one day at a time and check out the little brochure thingies in the hotel for ideas.

My dad kept saying he likes to take tours because the guide lady has an umbrella and they just have to follow her.

After the 4th time of hearing this I told him I was not a tour guide and I was not carrying an umbrella.

Let me start from the beginning.

We booked our tickets via Southwest about 3 months ago. Got a great deal for every one that wanted to go.

My dad is paranoid. A worry wort. A huge pesimistic person.

He calls two days before we leave to see if we are all on the same plane.

As my girlfriend Marianne always says...... OOYYYY!!

It just started from there.

My mother is a go-go-go personality as much as my sister, who does not believe she is anything like her.

She mostly drove me crazy with "You don't have to be strong around us Veronica. It's okay to cry for Steven." Four days of that will get in your head.

I have had 18 months to come to grips with what my son has chosen for a career at this point in his life.

I like to think I am like most mothers with children who are out of the nest or close to it anyway.

If I focus on all that could go wrong, I would be in the nut house with a padded cell and white coat.

Something I did learn that I had not clue about is how "life stupid" my brother is.

I should actually say he's life smart, because he was more than willing to let me or my parents foot his bills for this trip.

That came to an end in San Antonio when my dad paid for his hotel room.

My mom about came undone in the lobby. All my dad kept saying was that my brothers money was all in Nebraska.

Now, my brother has a debit card with the little Visa symbol at the bottom.

I told him he had better learn how to whip that piece of plastic out of his front pocket (that is where he carries his wallet ~ Nerd) and start using it or he was finding his own way back to Nebraska.

"The ATM doesn't like my card." was my favorite though.

He couldn't check his balance from the atm because it wanted to charge him a fee to use it.

To say the least, I had a 2 hour chat with my brother from San Antonio back to Fort Hood on the use of a debit card and on line banking.

Most of the windshield time was spent talking with my mom, which I enjoyed, minus the "Oh Veronica blah blah blah..." parts.

My brother and my dad learned a lot about me too on this trip.

For instance, I learned just how far to pull up a Crown Victoria (boat of a car) so that the rear drivers side door hits the cement post next to the gas pump because my father thinks he needs to show his 40 year old daughter how to pump gas.

"Um Veronica, I cant get out."
"That's the point dad. When you finish telling me how to drive around the parking lot of the gas station, I will let you free. Give me your credit card so I can get gas."
My mom was laughing so hard she was crying.

My brother learned on several occations that I was not afraid to throw him from an 80 mph moving vehicle if he didn't stop thinking I needed his input on how to drive down the interstate.

My personal favorite was when we were lost and I was getting back on an interstate in San Antonio to go see the Missions.
He was telling me I needed to go straight and not turn left. Telling me is an understatement. At this point I was the idiot.

I informed him that the blue arrow pointing to the left went with the blue interstate sign and the white arrow pointing straight went with the white highway sign.

A few explatives out of my mouth later and he said he would shut up from now on.

There are two things from my dad that I will remember most about this trip.

While waiting in the car for Steven at Fort Hood my dad announces he has to go to the bathroom.

I try to call Steven to see if he will come get his grandpa and take him to the bathroom.

Next thing I know, my mom is shoving her head into the headrest of my seat saying

"To late."
"What???"

My dad is peeing in an empty water bottle facing into the traffic that is heading east on a one way street.

My brother, the rocket scientist, says he is on heart pills and cannot help it.

I told him to shut the hell up that dad was on blood pressure meds not heart pills and there was a huge difference.

All the while my mom and John, Jordan, John's nephew Daniel and his girlfriend Ashley, who are in the lead car, are laughing so hard they are crying.

Steven finally shows up. My dad puts the bottle in the trunk of the car.

Steven tells him his darn lucky no MP's drove by. He's on federal property remember?

We go to a convience store and my brother says pop the trunk he will throw the bottle away.

I told him he would have to pry the keys from my cold dead hands before I would let him waltz across the parking lot with that bottle and to get his butt in the store.

Then my dad says the same thing. I told him when hell freezes over, I just had this conversation with his son and walked away.

He came up to me in the store and got the keys. I told him to tuck that bottle under his shirt so no one can see it.

Oh my Gosh!

My grandparents were probably laughing their butts off in heaven watching all this.

The other shake my head at my dad moment came on the last day when we were meeting Steven during his lunch hour at the base.

My mom was checking out all the food places at the mall we were at when my dad goes into panic mode because Mom can't see us. I was like what??

"Her eyes are bad and she can't see."
Since when?? She drives herself to work or shopping most days and has seemed to get around with out him holding her arm.

So mom sits down and I ask her if she is okay.

Can you see me alright?
Of course I get this confused look and I tell her what dad said.

She about busted a gut laughing. I told my dad he was just like his mother... Paranoid.

Steven's last words to me as we left the parking lot of the mall were...

"Don't kill any one on the plane Mom." With the little smirk he is so good at.

Little terd knows his mom.

As I look back at my 5 days with my brother, my mom and my dad in a car I know now why I have never done this before and why we flew instead of driving to Texas.

16 hours in a car with those 3???

Never.

The memories of this trip will haunt me enough.